I’ve always followed two simple rules throughout my career: work hard and be nice. After honoring these guidelines for most of my working life, I don’t think it’s just coincidence that I’ve had a fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful career full of many opportunities that I didn’t expect to come my way. But it’s surprising how much teasing and outright ridicule I’ve received in my career over my belief that being nice is not only possible, but is essential if one wants to be successful in the working world.
People who are cynical and disillusioned often shake their heads at my sense of optimism and refusal to agree with their “dog-eat-dog” philosophy. I find it really tiresome to be around people who are distrusting, critical and always looking for others’ “hidden agendas,” which is the antithesis of being nice. I guess it’s only fair that they find my attitude that “the sun will come out tomorrow” to be tiresome too.
I have, on a few occasions, wondered if maybe I am too pollyannish after all. I suppose there are situations where it’s a good tactic to be suspicious of others’ motives, especially if you’ve been “burned” before, or to be aggressive in the face of people against whom we need to defend ourselves. But it’s been my experience that, for the most part, people who are cynical, critical and embittered toward others suffer more than anyone else from their attitudes. It can’t be easy going through life suspecting everyone of having an ulterior motive to get the best of you.
But since in the end we all get to the same place–working for most of our lives until we retire–it’s not just about the goal but the journey. Those of us considered to be “nice” don’t necessarily finish last or first, but we do finish, in my opinion, best.
Recently I felt somewhat vindicated on hearing Conan O’Brien’s farewell speech when he gave up his night show after weeks of controversy. His final statement was “If you work really hard and you’re kind…amazing things will happen.” Amen, Conan. Amen.
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Tags: attitude, cynicism, optimism
